Yoon:
Four months have passed since I sent my applications to law schools asking them to pity me and let me in.  I have chosen one*: Pacific McGeorge in Sacramento, CA.  This marks the third stage of my law career that started when I was a sixteen year-old go’fer in Fullerton, CA.  The second stage began in 2004 when I was a copy boy in a law firm.  Having completed a double-major bachelor’s degree at the University of California in Santa Barbara the year before, I was probably one of the most well-educated copy boys in all of San Diego that year.

Now, I am ready to take your questions.

*Not official as of May 11, 2009

Niel:
Why go back to school? I effing hate school. Don’t you?

Yoon:
I did not ‘effing hate’ school like you, but I merely disliked it immensely.  But that was when I didn’t know what the hell I wanted to do with my life.  Now I do know and law school will serve as a stepping stone to that end.

Jake:
Really, copy boy sounds prestigious. What more could you want? What do you hope to attain with this move?

Yoon:
Copy Boy was right proper.  It was really was one of those jobs where you could leave work at work and not bring it home with you.  Then again, it was soul-crushing.  It was one of the more humbling experiences in my life.  You can’t take yourself too seriously when you make copies of paper all day.

By going to law school, I hope to gain an understanding of the rules of the game, so that I can manipulate them to my advantage.  My advantage will be society’s gain.  I just hope you’re on the side of public interest.  If not, get ready to get steamrolled by Yoon in three years.  To be sure, that steam will not damage the environment in any way and will be created without carbon emissions.

Niel:
Why did you deliberately string along your out-of-state friends – with your implications that you might attend law school in either Oregon or Nevada – if you clearly had no intention of doing so? Are you a sadist, or are they, for having ever believed you? [This journalist feigns no hint of objectivity with respect to this subject.]

Yoon:
I made it clear that my focus in school would be public interest law.  Since this is one of those pursuits not likely to yield large financial rewards, I had to choose my school based on the financial aid packages that were offered to me, the chance that I could gain employment in public interest, the cost of living and my girlfriend’s preferences.  I do not want to leave school indebted to private lenders or have them force me to work solely for money to pay my bills.  Pacific McGeorge is the best option considering the criteria.

I personally blame Jake and Niel for not writing letters to their congress members to lobby for more financial aid for me.  Basically, you two did not try hard enough to get me to come to your respective home states.

Jake:
Do you consider a move to northern California a step directly onto a very slippery slope?

Yoon:
Can you please clarify which slope I perhaps may be stepping on to by moving to northern California?

Jake:
Historically, there has been a fairly intense rivalry between northern California and southern California (Dodgers v. Giants, Lakers v. Kings, San Francisco v. Los Angeles). Would you consider yourself a complete traitor by making this move, or simply well on your way to becoming one?

Niel (simultaneously piling on):
Giants fan. Use of the phrase “NoCal.” Believing Vacaville is a nice place to vacation.

Yoon:
That is what I thought you guys meant.  First of all, Sacramento does not have a Major League Baseball team. They only have the triple-A affiliate for the American League Oakland Athletics.  Secondly, there is a professor at Pacific McGeorge who is an enormous Dodgers fan so I know it is possible to live in Norcal without succumbing to their brand of baseball.  Lastly, I hella think you guys are overreacting.

Niel:
Not even in jest, dude. Not even in jest.
Law School is hard. How do you think you will fare?

Yoon:
Judging on past academic performance, I know I will survive.  However, due to the competition for jobs after graduation, I need to do more than that.  I am hoping for a renaissance of academic prowess but of course I’ll need to do more than hope.
My secret weapon is my older brother who has completed his second year of law school.  He has been successful and I plan to do what second-born siblings do: imitate initially but fine-tune it.

Jake:
What are you most looking forward to about your upcoming law school adventure?

Yoon:
I am looking forward to meeting a few idealists like myself who are going to law school for what I believe to be, the right reasons.  I’ve been looking for some cooler friends than the ones I have now.

Jake:
Maybe (Giants pitcher) Brian Wilson is free to hang out.

Niel:
First off – you are truly a dick. Secondly, if I had a nickel for every friend of mine that entered law school as an idealist only to leave it a bloodsucker…. well, then I would have about $.45. I hope you are the exception.
Last question from me: will you give me free legal help when I undoubtedly get into to trouble in the future?

Yoon:
You know it.

Jake:
That’s on the record!

Yoon:
Let the record show it. Same goes for you too, Jake.

Jake:
Very gracious. Good luck, and we look forward to hearing about your adventures on the 4+1 blog.

Yoon:
Thank you.  I will do my best though I might be busy with my new awesome, yet hypothetical friends.

Missed the introductions? Get to know Yoon, Niel, and Jake.

A friend of mine is a student at a large public university and he was recently assaulted by an alleged fraternity member of the local “tough guy” frat for being Asian.  Nothing more nothing less.

Flash back seven-plus years to September 12, 2001, a day after Middle Eastern holy warriors murdered thousands of civilians in New York City.  I am an Asian student at the same public university and I am threatened by fraternity members while walking down the street that night.  They are angry and drunk, spewing profanity at dark skinned male pedestrians; presumably, the alcohol they had consumed had distorted their minds into believing that we (I swam outdoors regularly then, the sun giving me a darker complexion than my parents did) were involved in the horrific act of terrorism 3,000 miles away.

After hearing that an Egyptian-American acquaintance of mine had to literally fight his way through them only five minutes earlier – the three frat members saw a Persian looking man and went after this guy – I was waiting for the fratties to say something to me.  I intended to exact retribution with physical violence.  Suddenly, a third victim of the verbal abuse appeared on the scene and she had brought her boyfriend, and the guy looked pissed.  Apparently, the fraternity members had also spewed their obscenities at women that night.  Bad for them.

“Are you down, bro?” asks pissed-off boyfriend to me.  The next thing I know, the mean-looking, short-stature boyfriend turns and drops the shortest fratty with one punch to the chin and then jumps on the largest frat guy who was at least 6′ 3′.  Wow, he’s amazing, I thought.  That left me with the beer-bellied fratty who was more or less my size. I wildly threw my fists at the guy’s head and connected a few times. He eventually fell to the street and curled up to protect himself, leaving me to aid the boyfriend. Keep in mind this guy is a complete stranger to me but my brother-at-arms at that moment.

The police arrived about two minutes later but the boyfriend and girlfriend had fled the scene.  The guy must have done this kind of thing before because he knew what would happen next.  The police sat everyone on the curb and proceeded to question everyone for at least 30 minutes.

In the end, the fratties went to jail for being drunk in public but not for assault, not for yelling obscenities, not for being a-holes.  Why?  Because I decided not to press charges.  I merely thought I would follow that “Bro” code and keep it simple.  They were just being drunk and stupid that night.

Back to present day and I am looking at my friend: he has a lacerated lip, seven stitches and bruises all over his face.  All of this caused by a drunk dude committing assault on my friend because he is Asian.  I immediately think, “Nothing has changed at this school in eight years.”  We have a black president and more minorities in elected office than ever before yet racism still pervades the so-called liberal college campus in California.

Nothing has changed because I did nothing to change it.  I don’t think I could have prevented my friend’s injuries had I pressed charges the night of my sole adult fist fight but I could have brought awareness to the campus in 2001 that could have blossomed into a closer, inclusive community in 2009.  A fist fight did nothing but a simple article published in the school newspaper that condemned racially motivated attacks could have achieved a step closer to a real, peaceful community.

Okay. Lesson learned.  Oh, and fighting is bad.  Really, what kind of meat-headed, immature, ignorant Neanderthal reacts to name-calling with violence?  But that was 2001 me.  I’m wiser now.  Right?

Niel: Quickly tell us your greatest fear, greatest achievement, and greatest regret.
Yoon: Greatest fear: waking up one day all alone – no friends, no family. Greatest achievement: growing up a well-adjusted, relatively normal/sane person. Greatest regret: wish I could have had an adult conversation with pops, RIP.
Que en paz descanse.

Jake: What was your first car?
Yoon: Infiniti G20. 1993, dodger blue.

Jake: Follow up: dream car?
Yoon: Fully stocked Volvo station wagon. I’m gonna have kids someday.

Niel: As a Member of a minority in the U.S., does Barack Obama’s presidency have special meaning to you?
Yoon: Yes, it does have a special meaning. We know African-Americans have it the toughest in this country. If a member of that group can make it, anyone can. We know that the means are available to all, hopefully.
Niel: Follow up: Chance you will ever run for any type of elected office?
Yoon: I would like to run for something someday. I’ll start with neighborhood watch leader.

Jake: Give us an analogy for being a minority in the U.S. that we (white Americans) can understand.
Yoon: Being the new kid in your fifth grade classroom. You’ll make friends quickly but you don’t always know where you stand with the others.

Niel: List time – give us your favorite: food, beer, NFL team (like I give an eff about anything other than baseball), restaurant, city (other than the one you live in), ice cream flavor, and language (other than English, Spanish, and Korean.)
P.S. Yes, he’s trilingual, folks.
Yoon: Food: Kimchi. Beer – Bohemia, NFL – Raiders. Restaurant – Flavor of India in Santa Barbara, CA (currently). City – Mexico City. Ice cream flavor – I’ve never been into Ice cream like you native Americans but I’ll go with cookies and cream. Language – Nahuatl.

Jake: What’s on your TiVo?
Yoon: Movies that I would never rent: Dawn of the Dead (horror movies scare the poop out of me so I’ll never rent one), Star Trek – I’m a Star Wars fan.

Jake: What have you not done, that you now regret not doing?
Yoon: I did not work hard enough [academically] in college and I’m suffering from the effects now as I’m applying to school again.

Niel: College you wish you could have attended other than UCSB? (strictly for undergrad.)
Yoon: Any school in New York City.

Jake: Under what circumstances would you cut your Samson hair?
Yoon: I’ve told myself that when I look too old to have long hair, I’d cut it. I first chose the age of 30 but now that I’m less than a year from that point, maybe I’ll wait for a few more wrinkles to show before I chop.

Jake: You’re in a unique position to disclose this information: was there ever really a pseudo-hippie Niel [as he often claims]?
Yoon: Yes. Not a true hippie because he tried very hard to look cool. I don’t blame him though. He got a lot of attention from the ladies.

Jake: If you were able to take the next 6 months off work, where would you go and what would you do?
Yoon: I would travel through Central and South America. Pan Pacific Trail.

Jake: How many pair of jeans do you own? Polo Shirts? Ties? total pair of shoes?
Yoon: Jeans – 2, polo (type, not brand, right?) – 3, ties – 15, shoes – close to ten.

Niel: Give us the percentage chance that you will live [attending law school] in the following states, this time next year: California, Nevada, Oregon, other.
Yoon: CA – 80, NV – 10, OR – 10. This is the reality, not solely my decision.

Jake:  What was the last movie you saw? Rate it.
Yoon: Kingpin, for the 10th time. Not as good as I remember the first eight times I saw it. 7 out of 10.

Jake: Lighting round. Niel, go.

Niel: from jake: John or Paul?
Yoon: John.

Jake: Beatles or Elvis?
Yoon: Beatles.

Niel: Scorsese or Tarantino?
Yoon: Scorsese.

Jake: Cuisine: Chinese or Japanese?
Yoon: Chinese.

niel: Commute: Mass Transit or Bike?
Yoon: Mass transit.

Jake: Rain or Snow?
Yoon: Rain. I’ve seen snow fall only a handful of times. It’s silent and eerie.

Niel: Everyday for the rest of your life: Jeans and t-shirt or something a little fancier?
Yoon: Jeans and t-shirt. Easy.

Jake: Nature or nurture?
Yoon: Nurture.

Niel: Vegas (with your good buddy Niel) or weird-ass, hippie Oregon?
Yoon: Not a fair question, but long-term Oregon. Short term – Las Vegas.

Jake: Cuisine: Spanish or French?
Yoon: I’ve never really had either – I’ll go with Spanish.

Niel: Ladies: spanish or french? (zing?)
Yoon: Zing-ish. Spanish. Never really met French ladies.

Jake: Favorite cheese?
Yoon: Smoked gouda.

Niel: Next trip: Africa or Australia?
Yoon: Africa.

Jake: Favorite dodger?
Yoon: Brett Butler. No, Eddie Murray.

Niel: Current?
Yoon: Manny. I’m a sucker for the dinger.

Niel: How many text Messages have you sent/received in the last month?
Yoon: Less than 100.

Niel: How much time have you wasted in the last year at work chatting with the likes of these two reporters?
Yoon: Goodness – at least 400 hours.

Jake: Alright, that about does it.
Yoon: Thanks for the questions everyone. Look forward to updates on Law Schools in the near future.